10 things not to do.

1. Never stand in dog poo (smelly and squishy)
2. Go in the girls/boys toilets (you might be seen or see something)    
3. Eat someone, also known as cannibalism .They will taste weird and gutty.

4. Get a grenade and pull the pin and throw the pin instead of the grenade, it will end in a boom.
5. Pick up an electric eel, the result will be shocking.
6. Be fat. (P.s. I didn't write why you shouldn't be fat because there are way too many reasons.)
7. Leave your pencil on your table at school. (It will be gone in a matter of seconds)
8. Let your girlfriend/boyfriend make you have to get an ear ring. (They will probably dump you in three days after)
9. Go out with an ugly girl just because you're desperate.
10. Don't follow the tips on this page. (They are very pro tips)
Ben

Ben’s Boredom

Waiting for the Care Bears to finish (Grumpy and Funshine are so yesterday).
Listening to old fashion music (even Justin Beiber is better than Elvis).
Waiting for your sister to get out of the bathroom (my hair is way more important).
No junk food to eat (bananas do not satisfy).
Getting put to bed early (mum I'm going to miss C.S.I).
Going to weddings (the worst part is the kiss, sooo gross).
Car trips (I'd rather be watching T.V or something).
But the most boring thing of all is… when your soccer coach keeps on yapping on about last week's game (all coaches do it).

 
Ben

Adults

I think adults are silly.
For example one day they say "how cute he just threw peas at me".
Three years later: "How dare you throw peas at me? No TV for a week!"
Also at sports they say "run faster!" We should reply "like to see you run faster," but we can't or there will be punishment.
So adults get authority and get to tell people to do stuff. That's annoying because they can barely do stuff themselves.
So this is the verdict:
Adults = old and fragile.
Children = young and athletic.

 
Ben
    

How to make my brother (Zac) laugh

1. Get him and pin him on the ground (may take 2 min max). 
2. Roll him over so he is on his belly (be careful he doesn't escape).
3. This is the hard part, securely push his arms down with your feet and make sure you are staring at his legs.
4. Last of all, get your hands and tickle him under the knees for as long as you like!
   Enjoy!
   
    How to make my dad (Martin) laugh

This is a hard one, I don't hear my dad laugh much so I can only give you suggestions. Not saying that he doesn't laugh, once he laughed so much because he found my lost sweater sitting in the cloak bay (it was as clear as day).
1. Maybe you could tickle him on the sides somewhere.
2. Also if this doesn't work, maybe show him something funny on YouTube or TV.
3. This is another one, I might ruin your life but give it a try. If you are really desperate get your brother to take an embarrassing pic of you and show it to him.
4. Our last hope is America's funniest home videos.
Try them out and hope it works. Fingers crossed.

 How to make my mum (Sarah) laugh
My mum laughs, but there is not really a specific way to do it. So I am not going to give you tips to do this.

 How to make me (Ben) laugh
I know how to make myself laugh, but this is classified info that will not be shared any time soon.

 So this is my family of laughs!

 Ben

My name is Ben, I am a brilliant writer

I love sugar.

I hate Justin Bieber.

I wish I was rich.

My favourite animal is a Puma.

My favourite colour is blue.

I remember my B.F.F'S

Sometimes I like to have my funny undies on!

When I'm happy I smile.

When I'm sad I cry.

When I grow up I hope I am rich.

Sandpaper scraping on walls makes me cringe.

Tickling makes me laugh.

Myself farting makes me blush.

Today my three favourite words are chicken, miss and van.

If you could eat my writing it would taste like chocolate and paper.

Ben

Blanket

I jump out of the bath, grab my towel and roughly dry myself. I pull on my PJ's and run to my bed. "Ahhhh." I love it just me and my blanket.

Then I remember, I forgot to brush my teeth. I hop out of my bed and run back to the bathroom. I reach for my toothbrush, too high. I pull my stool out of the cupboard.

I need to hurry, my blanket is getting lonely.

So I grab my toothbrush and quickly but violently brush my teeth and run back to my room and jump back into bed.

At last, just me and my blanket.

By Ben