The very toy I got for my very first birthday was a beautiful doll. Let me share a personal story about my one and only loved toy, Frizzy!
One very normal morning, for one very normal day everything was superb, until…
We were staying at a fancy hotel. It was like staying in Beverly Hills (not that I have ever been there).
It was a cousin's wedding. Me and Nanny were heading back to Wellington. Finally after about 2 hours (I am guessing) we had landed.
Suddenly…..
"Poof!" I had just remembered I had left my doll Frizzy on the fruit bar table at the hotel. I was devastated. Tears poured out of my eyes. They were like water falls shooting out as fast as a breakneck jet plane!
One week later I received a gift.
I shredded the paper to pieces and my beautiful doll lay there as still as a statue. I picked her up and wrapped my marathon arms around her.
I was so glad to have my precious doll Frizzy back with me, safe in my arms!
Written by Bari Lawrence
THE END
great story bari!!! poor frizzy alone. happy she is back you must be!
ReplyDeleteBari, I like how you build the tension in your personal story and then give the reader a satisfying ending. Well done!
ReplyDeleteMr M :)
Funny, expressive accent too btw :)
WOW i love this well done cool accent. you did a good job with the similies and you were very good at describing FRIZZY! you never know you could become a famous writer one day because this amazing
ReplyDeletelily
p.s good adjectives
WOW I love that fantastic voice you put on. it suited the story perfectly
ReplyDeletewell done :) :)
Caitlin.N